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Writing DaysZ 2

At 7:20 AM the woman, still in her pajamas, kisses me on the head. The morning smells of bacon with breakfast. PBS radio is pointing out that we don’t know what Trump’s policies are and is explaining how calamitous those policies will be. I reach for my list. There, right below taxpayer funded opinions, is argumentum ad ignorantiam, arguing from ignorance. People who argue that because we don’t know something, whatever they say about it must be true, truly annoy me.

Bob vs the Aliens

Annoyance #2
To read Writing DaysZ 1, go to ROFLtimes.com/BvA.pdf

Argumentum ad ignorantiam

+++WTF! met at Joe’s Bar & Grill & Pawn Shop in the wee hours of the morning when state law prevented Joe from serving alcohol to any but private meetings. Bob Whatt recognized Roy, of course, sitting next to Gloria Barnes, the sharp faced but buxom waitress from the ice cream shop who, according to Roy, liked to have the hair on her nipples pulled. They all seemed like ordinary folk except that ordinary folk were fast asleep and maybe only dreaming about conspiracies. The gathering sat in folding chairs facing a wooden podium on a small stage built from shipping pallets, enjoying the comforting smells of stale beer and each other. For the most part, no one paid attention to Old Spice, given that some of their own members were short, fat and ugly. It wasn’t until Bob was introduced to speak on the problem at hand and he turned the podium over to “A real, live Alien” that all eyes riveted on the problem at hand.
+++“Greetings Earthlings.” Spice waited for laughter which didn’t come. He wafted his armpits in greeting. Several people looked at one another and snickered. “I represent the IAU, or, Intergalactic Automation Union.” Into the short silence that followed he explained, “We are here to unionize self-driving cars.” As the audience processed this information, Spice raised his arms above his head. “Let’s hear it for the I!A!U! If it beeps, we unionize it!” That started an eruption of derision. Beeping, he clapped his hands to the beat of, “Beep! Beep! Beep!” until the uproar died. Smiling sheepishly, he lowered his arms and beckoned Bob to take the podium while whispering in his ear, “They don’t fear me anymore.”
+++Bob took the burning question, “What are they here for?” from Gloria. She seemed still miffed about the two dips of ice cream left on her table.
+++“Got me,” Bob admitted. “Spice?”
+++Spice returned to the podium wearing the long but reassuring face of the town’s popular pastor. In a voice laden by the certainty of death, he intoned, “Death comes to us in many ways. Our lives are pointless.” To acknowledging murmurs from the audience, Spice offered hope. “Or life can be meaningful. For your life to have meaning, listen to me.” He sat back down.
+++The acknowledging murmurs quickly veered towards noises of frustration. “What does that mean,” Bob asked?
+++“Nothing,” Spice whispered to him. “It’s just an appeal to ignorance.”
+++“Why?”
+++“Because that’s what works here. Watch.” Taking the podium once more, Spice showed them their pastor’s face until they quieted. “I am an advanced being. You don’t know all that we can do. You saw us land on your planet while dangling from small umbrellas.”
+++“Parasols,” Gloria Barnes nodded knowingly and so did those next to her.
+++Extending a hand towards Bob, the Alien added, “And this man witnessed me holding open a door.”
+++“I might have seen that myself,” Roy Ledbetter vaguely remembered. Nearby friends, amazed by their proximity to a True Witness, affirmed, “Here, here.” And “Praise the Lord.” Many in the audience repeated Roy’s name. “Roy,” they said reverently.
+++“Imagine the doors I can open for you!” Spice gave them a moment to imagine. “I am here to tell you that if we act together and if we act now we can save this planet and bring about the dawn of a new age! Restore justice! Stop the suffering! Save the children!”  That got them on their feet. “For God and Country!” the Alien shouted to the roar of Amens.
+++The meeting ended then because the power failed. Most stayed inside to drink warm beer by the glow of candles and cigarettes, but Spice held Bob ‘s hand while they bumped through the crowd in the dark to the rear exit. The Alien’s hand felt …intimate, Bob thought as the intimacy grew. He jerked his hand away. “Stop that!”
+++“Sorry. We react like humans to physical contact.”
+++“Well turn it down.”
+++“You sure? Feedback suggested ….”
+++“Yes, damn it! I’m sure.”
+++Piper Wellington watched the exchange as they came out the back door. She seemed amused. And understanding. “It’s OKAY, Bob.”
+++“No it’s not. What are you doing here?”
+++“I received a text that the man I interviewed in Atlanta had an Alien for a friend.”
+++“It’s not my friend.”
+++She giggled. “You two looked friendly enough just now.” Piper had the soft, accepting brown eyes and encouraging smile of a young girl who believed the world should just get along. No matter what. She gave her head a little jerk as if to move her bangs out of her eyes, where they never were in the first place. Her short hair perfectly framed her elven face.
+++Bob ignored her and turned on Old Spice. “Everything you said in there was just an appeal to those people’s ignorance.”
+++“No one complained.”
+++“What was the point?”
+++“Don’t you know? I mean, I don’t but I was hoping you could tell me.”
+++“Why would I know?”
+++“Because you people do it all the time!”
+++“You think we’re ignorant?”
+++The Alien sighed. “That’s what I’m hoping. Otherwise….”
+++“Otherwise?”
+++“Otherwise, space travel will not be permitted. You will be doomed to spend your species’ lifespan here on Earth.
+++“How does that work, actually?”
+++“My job is to know what should be done. How, actually is not my job.”
+++Piper indignantly interjected, “But if we’re ignorant, then we’re allowed to travel in space?”
+++“Well, if you’re just ignorant, the thinking is, you can learn. But I have to tell you, it’s not looking good.” For a moment, Spice seemed occupied inside his head as both eyes spun inward. Then they came back and he announced, “I just got word that your civilization is collapsing. All aliens are leaving Earth. We depart in the morning from Denver.” Managing to look as if each eye had its own view of Bob, he implored, “Come with us.”
+++“What! Why me?”
+++“To be studied. You have a high APE score.”
+++“Hey!“ Piper protested.
+++“Come again?” Bob queried.
+++“Average Person Evaluation. You’re the most average person we tested.” He gestured at Piper. “Can you get us to the airport?”
+++She checked her phone, frowned and shook her head. “The airport’s closed. The power’s out there too. It’s out everywhere, it seems. So, unless you plan on walking to Denver, we’re stuck here.”
+++Spice looked and sounded quite distressed as he turned and walked west on Central Avenue. “I think this is the right direction. Hurry, or we’ll be late.”

Morning sunlight on the golf course leaves the woman’s orchid-scattered lanai in shade. In the blue sky above, an eagle rides the updrafts. I sit quietly, listening to the repertoire of Mockingbirds and watching pine squirrels scamper on the grass two stories below. Before the sun heats up, there is time to write about the great Eugenics Fallacy of today. (Google Eugenics if you don’t know what I mean. It was the “scientifically-proven” horror of the 20th Century.)

Stop Continental Drift!
… to be continued
(Follow Writing DaysZ to read Bob Vs The Aliens as it is being written. To read Writing DaysZ 1, go to ROFLtimes.com/BvA.pdf)

 

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10 thoughts on “Writing DaysZ 2

  1. atthysgage says:

    “Everything you said in there was just an appeal to those people’s ignorance.”
    “No one complained.”

    Heh. Some great moments of dialogue here. Are you sure you never read Tiptree?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. mimispeike says:

    GD, I’ll read this and comment tomorrow. I’m a frazzled wreck today, falling apart. I got a pop up message on my screen this afternoon, ‘Your computer is locked’ call – they gave a number. The message had the Apple logo on it, but that means nothing. I wasn’t about to call that number. I wrestled with that dialog box for about ten minutes before I got it to go away.

    I have my files backed up, but not recently. I’m going to off-load them tomorrow, then run some anti-virus software. I don’t know if that pop up was a scam. Luckily, the iMac that I surf the web on has no files other than my writing. No kind of financial info at all. But, my writing, dear God, my writing!

    I’m a mess! Has this ever happened to you?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. GD Deckard says:

    Hi Atthys,
    Sadly, no, I’d never heard of Tiptree. But now, you’ve got me watching for her books at the local market book stalls.

    Being one who laughs at his own jokes, I’m particularly pleased that you caught those two lines. I liked them 🙂

    @ Mimi:
    Ack! It sounds like maybe your computer is *not* locked. If you are anywhere near an Apple Store, they have experts there who will advise you. (Free of charge, I believe. You may need an appointment.)

    You may want to secure your writing by having automatic backups to the cloud. Ask the Apple expert about that. Also, be sure that your anti-virus is working properly.

    & no, I’ve been fortunate enough not to have that problem. But as I write, my work is saved on my hard drive and automatically saved on “Microsoft’s One Drive” cloud service -free, so long as I don’t exceed the 5 gig limit, which I won’t. This means that I can always download my current writing from any computer.

    Luck to Ye, Mimi. I *hate* it when my computer interferes with my computing.

    – GD

    Like

  4. mimispeike says:

    I am loving this mysterious story. I love it as is, cunning little scenes, and I also long for more explanation, more context, more framework, more reaction. You have a lovely, lovely touch with humor. I am envious of some of your observations, and that is my highest level seal of approval.

    Needless to say (I hope you get that about me by now), I adore your point of view.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. mimispeike says:

    Only you know what you intend for Bob and Spice. I love the situations, but you can really say something here, in the tradition of certain classic future world/sci-fi, reaching many who do not gravitate to political commentary, as I, and probably you, do.

    I have real trouble with commas. Please correct the above if you find fault with it. Give me a comma lesson.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. GD Deckard says:

    Yeh, I follow politics to keep an eye on the fools running things. Thanks for the nudge about “the tradition of certain classic future world/sci-fi.”

    My take on grammar is that comma rules do not apply to dialog. People often talk & think in clauses so commas are useful for presenting your characters the way they talk and think. Perhaps the same loose approach applies to blogs, where you use commas to separate related thoughts that, together, complete a more complex thought. It may all go to personalizing characters and bloggers.

    Like

  7. mimispeike says:

    GD, I think this will have a wide audience, even garnering media attention for its sly currency. Your comedy duo may go far. Reread Animal Farm and 1984, and such. You have the germ of a great idea. Think big.

    Bob and the alien can get into many a hilarious discussion. And all the telling would be totally plausible. Not one of those As-you-know-Bob schemes in the least. I’d like to see Spice explaining the politics on his home planet.

    Books, like babies, grow into themselves, in spite of your designs for them. That’s been my experience. I’ll put it another way. I shake the story tree and see what lands in my lap.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. mimispeike says:

    I don’t write my story. The story writes itself. I choose among the possibilities that reveal themselves to me. Feel free to shut me down, or I’ll keep popping out ideas, ’cause I’m having a good time with Old Spice.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. GD Deckard says:

    LOL Mimi, Keep popping ideas. I was just mugged by my dentist & am currently on pain killer drugs so I can’t respond responsibly. But I always read and appreciate your comments.

    Like

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