blogging, Flash Fiction, humor, Uncategorized, Writers Co-op

Master Beadle

(Just for fun Flash Fiction, 384 words)

+++“There be some what say Master Beadle here is naught in his right mind.” Old Geeze glared defiantly at the crowd gathered in the town Bar & Grill & Bar.
+++“Bat-shit crazy, you mean.” Fat Stockton, the town butcher, was not to be intimidated by man nor beagle. “That dog ate just enough of my cow to not kill it!”
+++“Poor thing.” Mavis Beth shook her head. “I seen her. Reminded me o’the time those Aliens camped outside a’town and traded in their dung for cow parts.”
+++Several in the crowd nodded. “I still got some of that,” said one. “It’s sealed it in a Mason Jar ’cause o’the smell.”
+++“Sold mine on eBay,” another said.
+++“Well, it weren’t Master Beadle here what ate on your cow, Fat. Ask him.”
+++“What do you mean?”
+++“I mean don’t take my word for it. Ask him for yerself!”
+++Fat snorted. “He talks?”
+++“Of course he talks. And he’s for sale, too. Twenty dollars.”
+++“That true?” Mavis asked.
+++“Yup,” said the dog. “It’s true. Unfortunately. Old Geeze here is tired of me always prattling on about things he doesn’t know and places he’s never going to see.”
+++There followed a hubbub of astonishment at the unbelievable that eventually faded into awe. Master Beadle looked every man and woman, one by one, in the eye before continuing.
+++“I ran with Alien traders for years. We traveled the galaxy, buying and selling all manner of goods. We carried crap to third-world worlds, ran guns to the Farside Raiders, even sold Mind Flowers to the ladies on Heavenly.” He paused, a dreamy look coming into his eyes as his head lifted a little. “Ahh, the bitches I have known, the adventures! The smells of alien markets! All that food… did you know,” he looked directly at the butcher, “That if well fed, I can occasionally glimpse the future?”
+++“No,” said Fat Stockton, slipping a twenty-dollar bill to Old Geeze with one hand and with the other taking the dog by its collar. “You’ll have to tell me all about that.” He led Master Beadle to the door, paused and turned. “Geeze? This dog is amazing! Why did you sell it for only $20?”
+++Old Geeze pocketed the money. “’Cause. That damned dog’s a liar! He never did any o’that shit.”

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27 thoughts on “Master Beadle

  1. mimispeike says:

    I have to say I’m troubled by how little participation we have at the moment. Now, it’s summer. And Scribophile is slow also, I’ve never seen it so slow.

    I’m trying to write something for Monday, but I am working hard, really hard, on a final polish on my novella. I finally have it all up on my WordPress site. Now I have to work on the format, get it to what I’d like it to be, try out themes. I’d like to be able to have a sidebar for pull quotes. Even better, pull quotes and graphics.

    I’m moving along toward an actual publication. Amazing, right?

    I am thrilled to have an accidental beta reader. She says the first three chapters are a bit slow, (got to work on that) but once the plot gets going, she thinks it’s terrific. She’s bombarding me with questions. What’s going to happen to this one, to that one. How does this situation work out? Because, in the novella I leave many things up in the air. The answers are supplied in the full book one.

    I’m blown away by the reaction of someone I had no expectations of. I doubted she’d get past the first few chapters. She finished it last night. And, but for her comment that the first three chapters need to be reworked a bit, that I need to give a clearer idea of who these people are from the very start, she is all for my loony plot and the involved prose style also. I couldn’t ask for a more encouraging response.

    From what I know of her, she is a real middle-of-the-road reader. I was very put off by her recommendations of good books to read, “they’re short, you can get through them in an afternoon.’ Not on my wave length in the least, I thought.

    And, could it get any better than this? She loves my footnotes.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Perry Palin says:

      Mimi, I can only speak for myself, but I’m weak on participation because I have so many other things to do in this season. Last night were out late at a live music/dinner event in a neighboring town. Tonight it’s improv comedy at the theatre. I’ve finished the morning barn chores, my wife is driving down to see her dad today, and that means I have seven necessary and a few elective things to do alone on our little farm before dinner. It’s a good life, but a busy life. When summer ends I’ll have more time.

      By the way, do you have a deadline for the trompe l’oeil effort? I’ve been working on mine.

      Liked by 4 people

    • Glad you found a fan, Mimi! I hope you use that energy to finish the book.

      Re: this comment: “I have to say I’m troubled by how little participation we have at the moment.”

      What do you mean? As you referring to a lack of critiques? Feedback on critiques? New WIPs? Blog posts? Pertinent comments? People who drift in, drift out? New members?

      Same as it ever was . . . The core group here have always done what they could, when they could, eh?

      I’ll be stepping away for a couple months myself. There is only so much time in the day, after all, and I have pressing personal matters to attend to. (Plus limited writing time and challenging health issues.)

      Liked by 4 people

      • mimispeike says:

        It’s mostly the slow-coming blog posts, Carl. But I understand it. I’m running out of steam myself. But this is a community I connect with easily, so I’ll keep trying.

        My energy for now goes into 1. Sly and 2. the garden. The garden will be done in another two months, tops.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Better nothing new gets posted (from me) than mere words-for-the-sake-of-words. I’ve always said to others: If you have nothing to say, for god’s sakes have the courage to shut up! Right now, I have nothing pressing to communicate or share with the world-at-large, so . . . I’m going to take my own advice, blog post-wise. (Though I will keep working on my fiction.)

          Liked by 2 people

      • GD Deckard says:

        Stepping away for awhile, ‘eh Carl? Well, know there is an invisible rubber band pulling you back because you are a writer and we appreciate your work. So don’t go too far.

        Like

  2. mimispeike says:

    Here’s your laugh for the day.

    I’m googling writer groups in my area. Jut to see. What’s close to me?

    Knights of the Pen in Sandy Hook. Yeah, that’s welcoming for a seventy year old woman. I don’t think so.

    A group in Ridgefield, not too far. But this is definitely a deal breaker, not cause I got no degree, just cause I think this is crap:

    “Members should have an advanced degree in creative writing (BA or MFA), and experience with the workshop setting.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Perry Palin says:

      I’m told there are good writers groups in the city, two hours away. That drive is not for me.

      I’m researching a writing course that will meet only one hour away. I’m trying to find out what kind of participants are expected, and what’s expected of them.

      I am a member of one writer’s group. We meet monthly on a weekday afternoon, which leaves out most anyone with a day job. I think I’m one of the younger members, at 68 years. Most of the members are writing family memoirs, local historical novels, rhymes, and shopping lists. We read our stuff to the group, but we don’t offer critiques. It’s a nice group of people, but I don’t know that I’m learning much.

      The search for learning opportunities continues.

      Liked by 2 people

      • GD Deckard says:

        Perry, I’ve learned so much from the writers on Facebook and you’re welcome to “friend” me there. About 1700 including support people. Amazing, the whole industry of editors, writers’ assistants, cover artists, marketing people, software programmers, event sponsors, small publishers -everything traditional publishing provided and much more has sprung up to help the independent author. Much more than I can list here -even businesses that put your books on their tables at conventions.
        Talking some, but mostly listening in on the conversations of these people, has greatly expanded my awareness of the writing life these days. So feel free to drop in anytime. (if you’re not already there -of course.)

        Liked by 2 people

        • Perry Palin says:

          Thanks, GD. I’m already on your facebook friends list.

          I spoke last evening with the instructor of the writing course mentioned in an earlier post. Each session she has a small group of learners, mostly unpublished, who write weekly to her prompts, then gather to read and critique one another’s efforts. She is a writer, editor and organizer of readings and events, has her students read in front of an audience of 100 or so people, has connections to publishers, etc. I realize she was trying to sell me something, but the pitch was interesting, and more hands-on than facebook. I like that.

          Liked by 1 person

  3. mimispeike says:

    Well, GD. I need to explore Facebook more than I have. I am dubious about the value of announcing an e-publication there. I ignore those touts and I assume others do also. You find value in those threads, should I give them another chance?

    My first line of promotion remains the decals and bumper stickers advertising my web site. Then the novella either sells itself or it doesn’t.

    Like I said earlier, I am amazed that one who seemed to be a real popular-market reader, emphasizing how she likes books with an exciting plot that moves along, has taken to my not-too-move-along, not-too-bomping-stomping-story. I begin to hope.

    On my website means read for free. The e-book version must be given away.

    Book one I will sell. Finishing that is another mountain to climb. I have book one essentially written, except for the resolution of the faux-visitation. The challenge will be integrating all the material that I removed to make a novella back into the core thread seamlessly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • GD Deckard says:

      You are exactly right, Mimi. Facebook is not for writers who want to become sucessful selling books. If you’re already succesful, it may be a place where your publicist would put you, but that ain’t where your books “took off.”

      What I do get out of it is information about other writers, their markets, the current state of the writers’ support industry (it’s surprisingly large and diverse) and the writing life in general. I also throw out thoughts & get feedback that helps me.

      Luck to Ye with your website!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The main joke in this piece reminds me of *Romeo and Juliet* as retold in *West Side Story*.  Sure, I have heard the same basic story before.  But the main joke is a deep classic that can and should be retold (with clever variations in details like the dog’s tall tales) to keep it fresh.  This retelling carries the tradition forward with admirable skill; I had to go pretty far into it before recognizing an old friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    • GD Deckard says:

      Well 🙂 this review is a keeper. I thank you for the compliment, MC. Your analysis tells me I managed to do what I intended -retell an old joke as a new story. And to me that’s priceless feed-back.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. atthysgage says:

    I must admit, I feel a bit guilty that it has been so long since I have posted anything here, since at first I was a regular contributor. Like Carl, like Perry, it’s just personal stuff getting in the way. I have far fewer free hours in the week now, and I’m constantly destracted by worries about money and family. And, naturally, when I do feel moved to put words on the page, I feel like fiction comes first.

    But I am glad you guys are still here, keeping the fire going. I expect to get back into it in a more active way, hopefully soon than later. Meanwhile, thanks for being here.

    And Mimi, congratulations on such a positive response. When someone really gets what you’re trying to do and likes it, well, it never gets old, I can you that.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mimispeike says:

    We all have our problems, I understand completely.

    I have looked into other online writer groups, and have not been delighted by what I found. I don’t need to rehash the basics. We are beyond that here. And so, I will do what I can to keep this good thing going.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Excellent piece there, GD! Makes me think we could do an anthology of flash fiction – but don’t we already have an anthology idea somewhere? 😐 I’ve been very lax in posting here, being busy trying to get my promotion strategy together (plus summer visits, which are nice but take a little time out of the day). But I’ll try and put something together shortly. In the meantime, delighted to see you’re making progress, Mimi. The show will soon be on the road!

    Liked by 1 person

    • GD Deckard says:

      That is what I have been thinking. An anthology of flash fiction is something we could work on as the ideas strike us. And 🙂 given the apparently ever-decreasing attention span of people, it might be a perfect fit for today’s readers.

      Liked by 1 person

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