The stack of short stories on my desk accumilate because I like to write more than I like to submit. Writing is all mine, I make the rules. But submitting stories rubs my nose in the real world – that place I write to forget. Or maybe it’s just the way my mind works. Like bits of scenes that pop into mind and have to be written down before they are forgotten. Scene bits are fun to write. Working them into stories can come later.

So, the writing excercise this week is to write a bit from a scene. Something that suddenly came to mind and now you just have to write that thought into a story.

I’ll start.

Mario’s desk was always cluttered with odd and interesting things. Claire’s gaze stopped at the box labeled “Codpiece.”
“Oh. Sorry.” Mario opened a drawer and swept the box out of sight. “Just something for my collection of Medieval History. Men all wore codpieces back then.”
“Why does yours say, ‘batteries not included?’”
======

Morris James angerly pointed his finger at the large drawing labeled Architectural Rendering. “You sold me a lot right there!”
“It’s a corner lot. Worth every penny you paid.”
“That’s a drawing of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld!” screamed Morris.
======

Roy’s mortuary was profitable due to its location on a cross-country highway and the sign out front, “Daisies-Up Inn,” that pulled dead-tired truckers in every night. “It’s a dormitory-style motel,” he assured them. “Keeps the costs down for everyone.”
======

Have fun! Use the comments section to post a vignette or two or three that you particularly like.


72 responses to “Writing Exercise: Scene Bits”

  1. Luddite Avatar
    Luddite

    Great idea for a discussion!

    Hilary stood in the midst of the streaming rush hour crowds, the only person studying the thundery sky, poised to unleash its wintery downpour on the mass of office workers. She drew her gaze down, seeing flashes of clothing; here a hat, an overcoat, a bag, a suitcase. She patted her voluminous coat that concealed a fully-loaded, snub nosed gun, its hard presence giving her comfort.

    Jim was a steelworker, something he’d never intended to do, but circumstances forced it on him. He grew to love his work, the smell of the molten iron, the heat – and even the noise. Others called him foolish, or even mad, but steel was what made Jim tick. While his workmates rushed off when the factory whistle blew, Jim would stand a while and listen to the sounds of the workshop shutting down for the night.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. GD Deckard Avatar

      Excellent examples, Luddite! Either could spark a full scene and/or a story.

      Liked by 6 people

    2. Sandy Randall Avatar

      Luddite, I like your second one with the Steelworker. So many images there. My uncle was a steelworker in Hammond at Inland Steel, back in the day. Such a strange dangerous job, but your words also allude to the beauty of molten metal. At least that’s what it evokes in me ….

      Liked by 6 people

    3. Sue Ranscht Avatar

      The first scene has a noir feeling to it, and certainly sparks intrigue. Is Hilary a hired assassin? A vigilante? A betrayed wife? A spurned lover? A disgruntled former employee? A cunningly insane serial killer?

      Jim’s scene has a ’30’s vibe. “…circumstances forced it on him” — the Depression? I would anticipate this story would take some deep dives into character.

      Liked by 5 people

  2. Sandy Randall Avatar

    I went through my story ideas folder … found these I thought might be worthy…

    As the carriage rounded the corner to the airfield, I could smell the dragon fumes coming from the aviary. Dragons charred their food before they ate it. The fumes were strong so feeding time must have been recent. It was imperative that the dragons ate before flight. A hungry dragon carrying a load of people could become opportunistic. A tragedy like that hadn’t happened in 30 years.
    In my opinion people were more likely to cause air disasters more than the dragons in this day and age. But it wasn’t something that crossed my mind as I began my usual week of flying. This week would add an extra stop in my itinerary. It was weeks like this that ended my marriage and any other relationships after.

    *** ***

    The last perfect day. That’s what we called it later. Until then we were clueless that our species was headed for extinction. Oh sure we went on about pollution, global warming, over population, disease … the list goes on. What nearly wiped us out never entered our minds, or imagination. Not really anyways. Oh and don’t think because we didn’t imagine it, we didn’t have a hand in it. To be sure we caused it. We were nearly the source of our own destruction. The only species alive capable of killing the planet. That is, until we created one that could do it for us.
    Everything that happened after LPD changed us as a species forever, or so I thought. Now ninety years after LPD I wonder if we learned anything at all …

    Liked by 8 people

    1. GD Deckard Avatar

      Very imaginative bits, Sandy. The second one leaves me wondering, what is LPD?

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Sandy Randall Avatar

        LPD is the lazy writer in me not wanting to spell out Last Perfect Day… 😂
        I actually got the idea from a science article I was reading about the sun becoming a red giant. The article was talking about the climate changes on earth that would lead up to one last day of perfect weather before everything went bad…
        Last perfect day stuck with me and I wrote that little piece thinking we would go along like everything was great and then … boom all hell breaks lose. In the dystopian future everyone would refer to the day before the event as “The Last Perfect Day or LPD … since we seem to like condensing everything to an acronym lol

        Liked by 4 people

        1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

          I had to look back to find what LPD might be, too. I wonder if it might have made an easier connection if you’d said “the LPD”.

          Liked by 6 people

          1. Sandy Randall Avatar

            Either that or not be lazy … 😂
            I basically copied and pasted from my “story idea” folder. These are two ideas I had but that’s where they sit at the moment.
            One I did develop and actually begin to research was this question:
            How does a 3rd century monk come to represent a jolly fat man who provides presents to all good children in a single night?

            As far as historical novels go … I’ve got a lot of research to go before that one is seen !

            Liked by 3 people

          2. John Correll Avatar

            I had a slight hesitation with LPD, then went oh, yes, how clever, but The LPD would reduce any hesitation, I agree, Sue.

            Liked by 5 people

            1. Sandy Randall Avatar

              It might have also helped if I had capitalized the first line from The last perfect day to The Last Perfect Day.
              Come to think of it….I am thinking of the main novel I am working on… and I believe I do use the concept of LPD without actually stating LPD lol … I think what intrigues me more than anything is the notion that we blindly go along and don’t realize a major even is coming, yet in hindsight of the event we can pick out the last moment where everything is ok.
              That backwards lens is fascinating to me. The Last Perfect Day, perhaps coincides with The Point of No Return?

              Liked by 4 people

        2. GD Deckard Avatar

          “one last day of perfect weather before everything went bad…”
          That image echoes. Love it!

          Liked by 5 people

          1. Sandy Randall Avatar

            You are free to take LPD and run with it GD… it’s languished in my folder for several years now.

            Liked by 3 people

    2. SMWebb Avatar

      Well done ++ yes to flying dragons!, always!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Sue Ranscht Avatar

    This is a promising exercise, but right now, it’s my birthday and it’s after 8 pm here — time to start fixing dinner! But I’ll be back. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Sandy Randall Avatar

      Happy Birthday Sue!!
      I hope you’ve had a wonderful day!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Thanks, Sandy! It was perfect. The best weather we’ve had in weeks — a cloudless blue sky and finally warm enough (low 70s) to open the house up. I heard from good friends throughout the day, and knowing I could do anything I wanted to do, I did exactly what I wanted to do: a long walk, reading under the trees, and very tasty comfort food for dinner. Basically, I spent the day savoring the pleasure in all the small, ordinary moments.

        I am such a cheap date, lol.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Sandy Randall Avatar

          I wouldn’t call you a cheap date … the person worthy of dating a person who is comfortable on their own must “spend” a lot of personal currency to rise to that level.
          Your son has a wonderful role model in you.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

            Aww, thanks, Sandy. I hope my son thinks so, too.

            Liked by 3 people

    2. GD Deckard Avatar

      Psst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday!

      Liked by 5 people

      1. Sandy Randall Avatar

        Grow up? Shhh those are naughty words!

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Thanks, GD! In my head, I’ll never be older than nineteen, but there are parts of my body that bicker and whine about that, lol. Even so, the advice is good, and I am not known to give in to bickering or whining. ;D

        Liked by 4 people

    3. victoracquista Avatar
      victoracquista

      Happy Birthday, Sue!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Thank you, Victor!

        Liked by 2 people

    4. SMWebb Avatar

      Happy (belated) birthday 🥳

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Thank you, SM! It’s still Birthday Week — I’m going to breakfast tomorrow with friends to celebrate again.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. John Correll Avatar

    John held his mutilated shoe in front of Archie’s, his Scoland Terrier puppy’s nose. He wagged his tail, curious.

    “This is a $379 dress shoe that is dear to my heart because it’s comfortable and classy, and I got it on sale. This is a NO. No chewies. You understand?” Archie ignored the shoe and grabbed the dirty sock off the ground. John snatched the opposite end of the sock, and dog and man growled at each over a piece of fancy foot fabric. Then John offered a trade with another item from the floor.

    “This is a scrap piece of cowhide. Okay, essentially the same thing as the shoe, leather. I understand the confusion. I do. But it only costs $10, even though the actual cost is 50 cents, but that’s because the pet store realizes it can make an enormous profit, because puppy owners are desperate to keep their adorable little gnawing machines from terrorizing their stylish shoes. You got that? This is a Yes. Good chewie. Yum. So, what do you say, tradies?”

    Archie whipped his head back and forth like a frantic windshield wiper polishing glass in a tropical downpour. “Grrrr,” he responded as John’s sock ripped in half.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Sandy Randall Avatar

      LMAO … I don’t think all my shoes combined match the price of your shoe John, but this scene with the sock plays out daily with my husbands socks … I am careful to keep mine out of dog reach… but somehow they find Craig’s …

      Liked by 4 people

    2. Sue Ranscht Avatar

      Lol! John, that’s a scene that is bound to take place anywhere a human talks to their dog in conversational [choose a language]. For as much credit as that gives the canine, it shows the human as a kind of simpleton, doesn’t it? Why not just put the shoes and socks away? I would love to read this in a story that carries it to a twisted, logical conclusion.

      Liked by 3 people

    3. GD Deckard Avatar

      Well done, John. The humor is so relatable – anyone with a pet has experienced similar scenes.

      Liked by 3 people

    4. SMWebb Avatar

      Ha! Entertaining scene. I gotta see this shoe… 😅

      Liked by 3 people

  5. Sandy Randall Avatar

    I was just speaking with a friend about a customer interaction she had this morning. He insisted he knew more about the beverage options Starbucks offered than she did. (she’s a supervisor and has been with Starbucks for several years). He’s a chatty guy and not much of a listener … the following was my response to her. I liked the response well enough to think it would be a great line of dialogue … somewhere … lol

    “He’s the type that likes to talk… so I’m sure he filtered what he was told through his mouth rather than his ears.”

    Liked by 4 people

    1. victoracquista Avatar
      victoracquista

      I like that line of dialogue, Sandy!

      Liked by 3 people

    2. GD Deckard Avatar

      “He’s a chatty guy and not much of a listener.” Now, there is a line to use!

      Liked by 3 people

    3. Sandy Randall Avatar

      I feel like I got a twofer outta one guy! lol

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Sandy Randall Avatar

    I just realized … I totally missed commenting on GD’s bits … Next time GD when you start, put your your exercised pieces in the comments lol … then we can direct comment on them!

    As to your pieces … they all seem to orbit Roy verse. The battery operated codpiece had me laughing out loud. the dogs gave me funny looks, like I’d gone mad.
    And Mario … isn’t he the Sommelier? I didn’t go back and check … just went off faulty memory.

    THIS was my favorite!
    “Morris James angerly pointed his finger at the large drawing labeled Architectural Rendering. “You sold me a lot right there!”
    “It’s a corner lot. Worth every penny you paid.”
    “That’s a drawing of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld!” screamed Morris.”

    Liked by 5 people

  7. Sue Ranscht Avatar

    Free time before dinner at the retirees’ home had held Harry prisoner all week. With young Timothy still off duty, he had no hope of visitors, and the hour dragged its seconds across his floor. He closed the shutters. Might as well sleep, he thought. With luck, till morning. He yanked his sweater from the chair, turned off the light, felt in the dark for the edge of the still-made bed, and lay down, covering his torso with his cardigan. Sleep hovered over his weary mind, but refused to settle. He counted his breaths to measure time.

    . . . 71 . . . 72 . . . 73 . . .

    A key clicked in his door’s lock. His room drew a gentle breath tinted with dinner aromas as the door inched open. Harry waited. A silhouette no taller than a child filtered through his lashes before the door closed without a sound. The silent darkness weighed heavier on his eyelids, as though something moved toward him, pressing on the air between them.

    It was over him. An unseen hand found his chest and pushed to hold him down. A sharp gasp warned him an attack was beginning, and he flung his arms across his face.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Sandy Randall Avatar

      “His room drew a gentle breath tinted with dinner aromas as the door inched open.” I love this line! It conveys both the visual and the tactile description of the room, the scene and character experience.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Thank you kindly, Sandy!

        Liked by 3 people

    2. GD Deckard Avatar

      Wow, Sue. That is a perfectly sequenced and timed scene! It got a reaction from me.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Ooo, mission accomplished! Thanks very much, GD.

        Liked by 3 people

  8. Sue Ranscht Avatar

    As ever, GD, it takes only a few words to bring a Roy story to life and make me laugh. Even when he hasn’t yet made an appearance.

    The Mario and Claire scene makes me want to know more about Mario. It also makes me wonder if battery-operated cod pieces are a new Roy product. And what else might be offered in this line?

    I have to admire Roy’s Star Trek approach to real estate. He boldly goes where no one has gone before. (I hope the corner lot is in Lancre or Quirm, but I fear it’s in Ankh-Morpork in the Shades or possibly too close to Unseen University.)

    The looming question is how Roy exacts a profit from a mortuary where its clients are apparently drawn in while still living . . . but not for long. How is the low cost “Daisies-Up Inn” profitable enough for both businesses? I think this would be an exceedingly macabre story.

    Liked by 5 people

  9. victoracquista Avatar
    victoracquista

    Well GD, I am delighted to learn that I am not alone in coming up with these fragments. They are scenes that aggregate in the mist of creative vapors and take shape and form. They haunt me unless I write them out and if I don’t, eventually they fade back into the mist into shadow potentials. But if I do write them down, they may lurk and linger until I pay more attention and give them more life. Mostly, they languish.
    I love everything that’s been shared and it spurs my creative juices. I rescued this scene, this story fragment, from a file I had to search for. I know there is a bigger story waiting to emerge from the mists.

    The cab idled gridlocked just before the intersection of Liberty and Fourth. Less than a block to my destination so I paid the driver and began to walk. A stranger bumped into me causing my portfolio to drop.

    He stooped over to help me pick up the papers that threatened to scatter in the breeze.

    “Sorry! I need to be more careful.”

    I couldn’t place the accent. We straightened. I looked at my inadvertent assailant as he handed me the papers he’d gathered along with a card, my card. It must have fallen to the sidewalk as well. An ill-defined oddness accompanied his handshake.

    He glanced at the card. “You’re George Bradley, photographer. Apologies for my clumsiness.”

    “Not anymore I’m not. That’s an old card. Today starts my second week freelancing some IT work.”

    The traffic congestion began to crawl as we walked toward the office.

    An unmistakable pop of gunfire, screams and mayhem caused me to turn.
    .
    “I gotta go. Call me when the time comes.” The stranger handed me his card.

    I saw the source of the commotion—drive by shooting. A yellow cab idled. Blood, bullet holes, and a wailing police siren froze in my awareness.

    That’s the cab I was in…WTF! That’s the cab I was just in! “Hey Bud, you won’t believe this, but I was just in that cab.”

    I was talking to no one. The stranger was gone. I looked at the card–TIM E. BUTLER, Journeyman.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

      I’m in! So, Tim E. Butler — is he the TimE that’s coming? And Journeyman of what? Or is he a. . . Journey Man? I am particularly curious about the “ill-defined oddness [that] accompanied his handshake.” Otherworldly? Angelic? Dead? Alien in a human skin suit? Out of phase with time?

      I admit to being confused that George was surprised the stranger was gone after he’d said, “I gotta go” and handed George his card. It was clearly the moment of his departure. But I’m confident you’ll sort that out when you write the rest of the story, hint, hint.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. victoracquista Avatar
        victoracquista

        Thanks, Sue. It’s journey-man for sure and he is a time traveler. The details are still in the infinite potential stage of development. It might be fun to take this seen and have AI write a short story. That would be the lazy man’s way of proceeding.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

          Not only lazy, but AI has been judged to be a very poor author of science fiction, lol. You will never be out of a job, Victor.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. victoracquista Avatar
            victoracquista

            Timmy or Timee is going to fix all that and make AI better.
            Truthfully, there is a lot happening regarding primarily AI authored works, copyright, and using authors’ works for machine learning. I’m a member of the Authors Guild and they have been devoting some time to this topic and how authors need to be concerned. ChatGPT is just the latest (actually there is GPT4 which is even later) and the products are getting better and better. I could ask AI to write a story in the style of Jules Vern using prompts from scene and I think the quality would be pretty decent; although, it would need some polish and revisions.

            Liked by 3 people

            1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

              I’ve been following the AI stories, too. The judgments about AI authoring sci-fi all came from Science Fiction publishers, lol. They’ve been rejecting a whole slew of AI stories submitted recently by human aspiring authors. It would be fun if you have one written as you’ve suggested, and let us take a look at it before it’s polished . . .

              Liked by 4 people

              1. victoracquista Avatar
                victoracquista

                The present me is procrastinating. The future me is still procrastinating. LOL!

                Liked by 3 people

    2. GD Deckard Avatar

      I’m with Sue, Victor: That is a great beginning. You could create short stories around Tim E. Butler or expand him into a novel. Or (why not) team up with a comic book illustrator & make him a superhero. Time E. has potential!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. victoracquista Avatar
        victoracquista

        Thanks GD! Timmy the time traveler for the youthful imagineers. Do you remember the Tom Corbett Space Cadet series and The Adventures of Tom Swift? It would be fun to do something like that and teach a bit of history in the process.

        Liked by 3 people

        1. Sandy Randall Avatar

          Thomas A Swift’s Electric Rifle … AKA The Taser … My silly bit of trivia I picked up somewhere …
          Victor, I find this an intriguing piece as well. I look forward to a space in ‘time’ when we will be reading this story!

          Liked by 3 people

        2. GD Deckard Avatar

          Yes! There’s always room for stories that don’t take themselves too seriously. Done with imagination, they stick around for generations.

          Liked by 3 people

      2. Sue Ranscht Avatar

        Yes! What GD said!

        Liked by 3 people

    3. SMWebb Avatar

      Well done – love the card!

      Liked by 3 people

  10. Perry Palin Avatar
    Perry Palin

    A scene bit from a story where an adult son can’t reach his widowed father and drives out ot find him.
    ………
    “Can’t you let an old man have his chair? You can sit on the cooler.“ I got out of the lawn chair and he pulled two more beers from the cooler. He sat down in the chair, put on his hat, and pulled the brim down to shade his eyes. “So why did you come out this time? I mean, I’m glad to see you, but you always have a reason.”

    “I was trying to reach you. You didn’t answer the phone, or answer my emails.”

    “Well, hell, I’m on vacation. The phone and the computer are in the house. I don’t need those out here.”

    “But you have ice in your cooler. How long since you’ve been to the house?”

    He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Of course I go in to pull the mail out of the mailbox once in a while, and to the garage to get more ice and beer. And to water the garden and pick the beans and the tomatoes. I don’t have to listen to phone messages to do that.” After a short pause, he said, “Why don’t you stop with the questions, and we’ll have a nice visit.”

    I sat down on the cooler and he sat in the chair. We sat for several minutes without speaking. The light breeze carried the scents of wildflowers and summer trees. When the breeze turned I could smell horses.

    I spoke next. “Last time I was out, you said you were about to go on a date with Helen Lundquist. How did that go?”

    He looked at me sternly, clenched his teeth, and looked down. Then he started. “You know I hadn’t been on a date in a long time. I haven’t been interested in women since your mom died. Carol Holiday set me up. You remember her? From church? She set me up for that date with Helen Lundquist. The date didn’t go so well.”

    “Would you care to add some details to that?”

    He took a deep breath, ready to make a speech. He exhaled. “Well, let me tell you how that went. I went to pick her up at her place. Got there right at the time we said. I parked on the street in front of the house and went up to the door and rang the bell. She opened the door dressed in a tight outfit with both red and green in it. Not Christmas red and green. The colors were too bright for that. She looked like a walking advertisement for some cheap hard liquor. She wanted me to come inside while she made the last adjustments to her outfit. When she got me inside the house, she gave me a big hug. That was okay, I thought, but maybe just a little forward. I took her to the Blue Horse for dinner. She spent a lot of time talking about what a great place it was. Then she spent the rest of the time asking me questions about myself. She started with easy questions, but I could see a pattern. She was sizing me up for something, making plans. She was making plans without me, but her plans included me.”

    He sat and looked toward the pasture where the horses were moving slowly on the hillside. I waited, and finally said, ”Well, what happened then?”

    He pushed his gray hair back with his right hand. “We got back to her house and she insisted I come inside. It was still early, and I couldn’t say no. She got me on the couch in the living room and brought out a big bottle of red wine and a couple of wine glasses. They weren’t the normal glasses. They were those big ones that hold way too much wine for any normal person. Well, she’d been drinking wine at the Blue Horse, and then she poured a couple of pretty big glasses of wine and started drinking it. I nursed mine along, but she pulled it right down.” He stopped and looked off toward the east woods.

    I wanted him to continue. “Helen Lundquist is a pretty nice looking woman, don’t you think?”

    “Nice looking? Maybe a few dozen years ago. She doesn’t look too bad for an old woman, but man, she had so much makeup on, she put it on with a trowel I bet. That wasn’t so much good looking. Then once she’d been drinking for a while, and asking all sorts of questions, and getting to sounding desperate, she wasn’t good looking at all. She laughed and started leaning on me and pulling on my arm, and then she started pulling my arm in to brush against her breasts. Is that what I have to deal with, a scary old woman drinking too much and leaning against me?” He stopped to take a pull on his beer. “Look around you. See how peaceful it is here. Pretty nice out here.”

    “Did you call her again? Helen, I mean?”

    “No. But she started calling me in about two days. I was outside when she called, and she left messages. I went on vacation.”

    “You call this going on vacation?”

    “No phones. No housework. No people. What would you call it? And I didn’t fight the traffic to some park somewhere, and I’m here with my horses.” He took another swallow of his beer, and then burped quietly and settled back further into his lawn chair.

    “How long are you going to stay out here? Like this, I mean?”

    “I don’t know. I’m getting a little low on a few things. When I’m out of groceries, I’ll fold my tent. Is that what you want to hear? You want me to rejoin the land of social media and scary old ladies?”

    “You’re going to have to talk to Helen again someday.”

    “Yeah, and sleeping in the pasture has given me some ideas of how to let her down. I don’t want to make her too mad at me.”

    “Aren’t you about out of groceries by now?”

    “I’m fine on groceries. Are we done talking about Helen Lundquist now? There’s still a chance we can salvage this conversation.”

    Liked by 8 people

    1. Sandy Randall Avatar

      This is fantastic Perry. Even your story ideas are well written … excuse me while I get back to practicing … I have a long way to go … lol

      Liked by 4 people

    2. victoracquista Avatar
      victoracquista

      Really nice, Perry! I’m getting mental pictures of the characters. They sound authentic.

      Liked by 3 people

    3. Sue Ranscht Avatar

      I would like to read a story by you about an honest, realistic mutually loving relationship. There haven’t been any real connections. We’ve seen young men with mistaken ideas about the object of their “love”, and now a grumpy older man who hasn’t the gumption to assert his feelings to a woman he is not interested in. He couldn’t even refuse the blind date, lol. Although this is nicely written and amusing, it left me feeling something was missing. Here, the cautious connection is between the widower and his son, but the event the dad relates, as in your young man “love” stories, dances around any real connection between man and woman.

      Of course, it is only a bit from a larger story, so maybe what I’m missing is the coming character growth. In which case, ignore me.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Perry Palin Avatar
        Perry Palin

        Sue, thanks for your comment.

        I’ve read some romance stories. I don’t think I could write one.

        My scene bits item is a fragment of an unfinished story that I set aside a few years ago. The action in the story is between a happily-married-with-kids urban dwelling business professional and his retired, widowed father who lives alone with his horses and one mule on a small farm. The son is concerned for the father’s welfare. The old man thinks he is doing just fine.

        The bit about the father and “Helen Lundquist” is roughly modeled after the true stories of my widowed friend Paul, a retired librarian, farmer, and author of children’s books, who could offer a beautiful home, financial security, companionship, and maybe even love to any one of a long string of widows and divorcees that were pushed in his direction by his church friend Carol. Paul was still grieving the loss of his wife and was content to live alone. Carol set Paul up with thirteen different women in a year, some of them apparently desperate for something that Paul wasn’t ready to give.

        Maybe I’ll get back to that story someday.

        Liked by 5 people

        1. Sue Ranscht Avatar

          I don’t write romance either, and the romance stories I have read were enough to turn me away from romance stories forever. But you mention the “happily-married-with-kids urban dwelling business professional” and it makes me curious what you would write about how that relationship works. Not romance, but a human story about creating and sustaining that relationship.

          True or not, any grown man who can’t say no to some pushy woman who knows desperate single women is a comically sad man. If he knows that’s not what he wants, why on earth would he allow himself to be used that way? That’s so self-defeating, it’s almost unbelievable. I’m still shaking my head and laughing, but sadly.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. Perry Palin Avatar
            Perry Palin

            The relationship between the son in this scene bit and his wife doesn’t present the tension to make a good story. That’s why I can’t write the story. I don’t know how.

            My friend Paul, the model for the scene bit, is a really nice guy and has been friends with Carol and her husband Bob for many years. Carol thinks she is doing both Paul and these women a favor by throwing them together. He doesn’t want to offend Carol by saying no. Is this comically sad? Maybe. My friend Al and I laughed at and with Paul when he related his experiences. I know Paul. He will not say no to Carol, but he is put off by the needy women she sends his way.

            Liked by 5 people

            1. Sandy Randall Avatar

              Perry I find the scene bit entirely relatable. It so reminds me of my Dad. Dad and mom divorced when I was eleven and for good reason. But dad came to the realization the only woman for him was mom. He tried dating … never took for him. He’s a gregarious guy however, and amuses himself now with making friends at all three senior centers in Wichita and grumbling that my brother doesn’t visit enough (My brother is there almost everyday) Dad doesn’t live in a senior home, but he’s contemplating it. There is no pushing dad to do anything he doesn’t want to do.
              But he does prefer his alone status to a partner. He would love to have another dog, but is afraid the dog would out live him at this point and he doesn’t want to do that either.
              My long winded point … I think I know your friend Paul … I’ve known his like over the years. Perhaps it’s because of the small rural town I grew up in, you find more guys like that?
              I don’t like romance stories either, and I don’t like writing them. I do like heartfelt stories that dig in to human interaction. I think your story bits are the hook for those types of tales.
              You draw us in. We want more.

              Liked by 4 people

    4. GD Deckard Avatar

      Victor nailed it, Perry: The authenticity of your stories makes the narrative so easy to relate to.

      Liked by 3 people

  11. GD Deckard Avatar

    Regarding A.I. generated stories, I suspect that until we can better define intelligence, and creativity, the stories generated will be imitative. As in praising a child, we may be impressed that a story is good, but….

    Last I checked, intelligence is better understood on a quantum level and is not reducible to “001100 11 00.”

    Creativity means to bring into being something new and original while anything produced by a computer program cannot be more than a product of the sum of its parts. And whether or not we perceive it, computer input always predicts the output.

    No doubt the future will prove me wrong but we ain’t there yet.

    Liked by 5 people

  12. mimispeike Avatar
    mimispeike

    I’m looking through my files. I’ve found this:

    Horatio Hatton Houghton, tagged Pudge by his youthful associates – he’d been a thickish child – was still addressed in that manner by his inner circle. Although no longer the pudding of a boy he once was, he could not shake the label.

    Instead of the suave master of Houghton House, he looked the most luridly disarranged denizen of the lowest grog shop in London. His speech, usually of the best buttermilk fashion, reverted to the clumsy provincialisms of his rural minority, which he had managed to expel from a man-about-town patter.

    The general effect was of a wayward young man with a flair for the dramatic, but beneath an amusing style of dealing with the world flourished a discreet instability. His elder brother Bertram had been a steadying influence, but his elder brother was gone nearly a year.

    I haven’t looked at this for many years. I don’t recall that I have a cat in it. I think it heads in the direction of Edwardian horror.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Sandy Randall Avatar

      Oh Mimi! Your use of the Queen’s English has me back in London. The English amaze me with their speech. I remember, when I lived in the Netherlands, I was watching a documentary about who-knows-what, but there was a dutch guy and english guy and an american. Both the dutch and english guy had tight economical sentences while the american blathered on and on. I was early twenties, had studied both french and spanish, but that was the first time i really payed attention to language.
      Your few lines here take me back to that light-bulb moment.
      As to the story, perhaps one day you will revisit it. If not it remains a portrait of an Englishman, wayward perhaps, but young and dramatic!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Sandy Randall Avatar

        On further reflection… it’s been the Queen’s English my entire life… I guess it’s the Kings English now…

        Liked by 1 person

    2. GD Deckard Avatar

      “Horatio Hatton Houghton, tagged Pudge by his youthful associates – he’d been a thickish child – was still addressed in that manner by his inner circle.”
      WoW! That begins a really wonder full character description, Mimi.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. mimispeike Avatar
        mimispeike

        I am tempted to pick up on this story (I have about ten thousand words) but here’s the problem:

        It cannot be a parody of Amanda McKittirck-Ros. It is impossible to parody that lady. I realized that quickly. To write as weirdly as she did is a special talent. That’s why, as I recall, I decided to head in the direction of stylish period horror.

        My attempts to mimic her zaniness were forced. Insincere. She was sincere in her screwball phrases. ‘The southern necessity’ – who could top that?

        The ‘southern necessity’ was trousers, kids. Written with a straight face, I swear: genius of a sort that so far escapes me.

        Liked by 4 people

  13. mimispeike Avatar
    mimispeike

    Reading a bit, I recall that I planned this to be a parody of Amanda McKittrick-Ros.

    “His assault began with his eager attendance at her fabulously dull parties. She was furiously promoting herself on the marriage market, without a mother’s clear-eyed common sense to guide her. The unworldly aunt was worthless in that regard, no matter what she had told a father who had installed her as guardian in his absence. Amanda McKittrick was on her own.”

    Liked by 7 people

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