Literary Agents, publishing, Satire

The Future Is Here

Lisa

You receive too many unsolicited manuscripts and cannot review them all? You still do not want to miss the next bestseller? Then LiSA is the right solution for you.

LiSA, if you’re wondering, is German and stands for Literatur Screening & Analytik. For publishers, LiSA is a boon – in 30 seconds flat it will tell them if the manuscript they’ve just received has any chance of success. “Based on Artificial Intelligence (AI), our software establishes a connection between the insights gained from existing works and their sales and bestseller ranking. This relationship is applied to new manuscripts and a probability of success is determined.”

And authors can sign up now for a beta version, soon to be released, which will let them know if they’ve written a dud or a blockbuster. Wunderbar!

Details can be found at the Qualifiction website: https://www.qualifiction.info/ (It’s in German, but Google will obligingly translate).

It won’t be long, of course, before LiSA is analysing texts not from authors but from another AI programme. In fact the only reason she isn’t already doing that is because the release of the programme in question, OpenAI, has been delayed due its being too good: Fake text generator too dangerous to be released.

But take heart, writers! There are still a few literary agents who are humans just like us, and are even so kind as to reveal some great tips on how to get your manuscript accepted. One such is my good friend Sydney Lushpile, who a few years back gave me some precious insights into how it’s done the old-fashioned way. Before LiSA.

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